Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Fell Off Cloud Nine

and boy did it hurt.
Last week when we got the legals, I went into a euphoria. I was just ecstatic. I was ready to go. I was jumping on paperwork. Planning my departure. Counting days. Then reality kicked my butt. Several times over. And it stunk.
The officer at the passport office that issues orphan passports went on vacation after a week long holiday closing. Now we are waiting for Saturday or Monday to find out how fast he can work. I was doing moderately well, and then...
This sweet man comes back to work for a day unexpectedly. He issues a passport. Its not Prasun's. I'm heartbroken. Monday night and all day Tuesday were not good hours. I'm recovering. It was one of the moments in life where I was totally selfish. I didn't care that another baby was coming home. It wasn't my baby and so therefore, I didn't want to be happy. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry. Then life kicks me in the pants and I have to keep moving. I don't have to be happy, I just have to keep moving. We have preschool, therapy, and I have to work.
I'm recovering alittle bit of my optimism back. Today I'm not so down. I just needed the chance to scream and yell about how unfair both of our adoptions have been. I have a hard time remembering that it is all for a reason. It all works out in the end. I want to congratulate all the families that are in India or on their way soon.
Our time is fast approaching. It will all work out for he best in the end. Today I have to remember that.

4 comments:

Nadra said...

Amanda...I know just how you feel. When we were waiting for Ian...passports were issued, but not Ian's. I was devastated. It's so hard. I'll say a special prayer for you tonight my friend.

Hugs to you :)

Sheri said...

Amanda,
I will be praying for you and that you will be with Prasun soon. BK said he is such a cute child. Hopefully, I'll be able to get pictures to you soon!!
Sheri

The Labontes said...

Amanda, I can't believe it has been so tough for you again. Thank God adoptions have euphoric endings, because the waiting is hellish.
Kristy

Kristi said...

Praying for passports this week! Soon we'll be in India together, smooching our sweet children. This is going to be over for you soon. I just know that God will reveal his timing to you someday. There has to be a reason for all of the hard waiting you've gone through. You are at the home stretch, girl!!!! Hang on!!!

Such a Big Boy!!

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